You'll Enjoy It!

A humorous semi-fictional novel by JEM Bates, celebrating community life, unexpected friendships, and the chaotic charm of the local bowling club. Think of it as a warm-hearted comic collision between Crackerjack, Muriel’s Wedding, and The Castle.

YOU’LL ENJOY IT! (Book 1)

Status: Currently under consideration with traditional publishers.

The Pitch:
Newly retired Jack wants nothing more than a quiet, predictable life in small-town South Australia: zero alarms, zero deadlines, and zero bosses. Unfortunately, his well-meaning wife, Mary, has other ideas. Terrified he will stagnate on the couch, she drags him under immense domestic duress to the local lawn bowls club—a place Jack has always dismissed as the uninspiring domain of old men in elasticated trousers.

Expecting mind-numbing boredom, Jack is instead thrust headfirst into a messy world of fierce social rivalries, meat raffles, and intense clubhouse politics. Worn down by a bizarre cast of locals—including the rule-obsessed "Slippery Sid" and the gastrointestinally unpredictable "F"—classic community buck-passing lands Jack in charge of the club's high-stakes Christmas party. It’s a job he never volunteered for, but navigating the catering disasters and personality clashes forces him to realise something unexpected. Retirement hasn't given him the quiet sanctuary he planned, but it’s given him exactly what he actually needed: purpose, a second act, and a fiercely loyal bunch of friends.

Coming Soon:

YOU’LL GET USED TO IT! (Book 2)

A chorus of unforgettable eccentrics

Jack is back, and his resolution to stay completely away from the Mandu Bowling Club lasts all of three weeks.

From tactical deployments of frozen banana bread with Large Willy to an unfortunate run-in with a herd of disgruntled alpacas and the high-stakes opening of "Dolly’s Den" podiatry clinic, the sequel proves that escaping the community fabric is utterly impossible.

Conspiracy Theories.

Bob leaned forward. "I've got my own theory." Of course he had. At the bowling club, nobody ever had an opinion. They had a theory.

"There was a bar manager here about thirty or thirty-five years ago," Bob continued. "Rumour was he was syphoning money off."

"Who was he?"

"Dodgy Doug. Or Dougie…Kelly. That was it.!! I remember commenting at the time that he had the same surname as our most famous bushranger."

"Where did he go?"

Bob lowered his voice. "That's the interesting bit."

We all leaned in. "Apparently, he was here one day and gone the next."

.....Was Dodgy Doug buried beneath the bowling green??

A gloriously imperfect celebration

When the big Christmas evening arrives, rogue smoke machines, runaway karaoke, and clash of egos threaten complete disaster. Yet amidst the chaos and spilled drinks, true camaraderie shines through.

Through laughter, misadventures, and stubborn teamwork, Jack learns the club was never really about the bowling greens—it was about the people on them. And in the end, he is forced to admit Mary was right all along: he really did enjoy it.